Dear Isaac,
Not so long ago, I held you for the very first time. I was so tired from laboring for so long and then so drugged up from my c-section, that I remember asking the nurse to please take you because I was afraid I would drop you. Since that day (and even before), you have held the very special place in my heart that only you can hold. You, the boy who made me a mommy, are a delight! I can't even believe what a gift it is to know you and spend time with you and watch you grow. You amaze me. You are adorable, you are smart, you are kind. You love discovering. You love to play with the dogs, to play with your matchbox cars, to do anything with Daddy, to hunt for bugs, to throw rocks in the creek, to make up games, to pump your legs and make the swing go high (but not too high). You ask questions about God, you love your brother and like to find things to do to entertain him, and you get excited about going to school. As I snuggled up with you the last day of Mother's Day Out, I celebrated that you had finished two whole years of school (two days a week), and you burst into tears. You said, "Mana, when am I going to see my friends again?"
It delights my heart that you love people. My prayer for you is not only that God would decorate your life with people, but that he would also give you a few really close friends to walk with on this crazy journey into His best for you. Because I think you shine when you are with people, Daddy and I know that school will be a good place for you, and yet at the same time, I WILL MISS YOU SO MUCH!! You are my partner these days--my helper, my number one! You laugh at funny things with me and you make all things fun. I am excited about what Kindergarten will be for you. Daddy and I have prayed about it so much, and we are thrilled that you get to spend your first year of full-time school at St. Paul. They will love you so well there, and Isaac, you are so lovable.
You seem excited about going. We've been to Storytime in Mrs. Brown's room, and RuRu took you to Open House to see your cubby and all of the centers in your classroom. Monday you have a half-day, and the same is true for the rest of the week. I am so glad! That is probably more a gift to me than to you even, but I think a soft start into this whole idea of surrendering you to someone else's care for the day EVERYday is really good.
Sending you to Kindergarten reminds me like nothing we've done before that you are not mine. You are the Lord's, and He was gracious enough to set you in our family to love and to cherish and to cheer for as you grow. May you be a light for Him, Isaac! You are so good at making other people feel special, about being aware of others in your room, about remembering the details about what is going on in people's lives, about celebrating birthdays... and you are so smart too. I know you are anxious about holding your pencil the right way. Don't you worry--it will come! I hope the Lord will prompt you to ask for help when you need it, to share your joy with others, to make others feel important, and to be kind. I also hope you love what you are learning at school. Your brain amazes me. You remember so much and can do really complicated math already. You say all the time that you would like to be a car builder when you grow up. May Kindergarten be a step in that direction...or toward God's dreams for who you might be as a man after His own heart. We pray that you know Him one day, as well as you can on this side of heaven, and we hope that this Kindergarten year will be a special step in that direction, as well as a sweet educational foundation.
You are my delight. I can't even tell you with my words how much you mean to me. People used to tell me your little years would go by fast--because you cried at me for the first six months of your life, I didn't believe them. I do now, however, and though I am so excited for you, I am sad for those of us who will miss you at home. Your preschool years have been awesome!! Thanks for making my heart more like His just by living in it...and in our house.
I love you, Isaac!
You are my IZ, and I am grateful.
Love,
Mama
