I found this letter tonight and I just didn't want it to get lost. So, here it is, Isaac! Happy Late Birthday to my 5 year old!
January 22, 2013
Dear Isaac,
Tomorrow you turn 5.
I can’t even believe it. In
so many ways it seems like you have been a part of my life forever, and yet
these 5 years have gone by so fast.
It seems like only yesterday that I met you. I’ve done a terrible job documenting the gifts and the
challenges of your preschool years, which is certainly evidenced in the fact
that I can’t even find your journal tonight. Even so, tomorrow feels like a huge milestone for you,
and so maybe one day when your journal turns up, I can paste this note in there
right along side the last one I wrote, probably years ago.
We had a pirate party for you last Saturday. It was so fun! All of your friends came (actually, you
wanted to invite everyone you know because your heart is so big and your list
of friends is so long—I should probably say that everyone we invited showed up
in pirate attire, ready for an adventure—ready to honor you!). I loved that party for you because it
celebrated so much of who you are and what you like to do as you turn 5. It felt a little like stepping into
something more than I could have expected, and maybe even more than I would
know to dream for a five year old’s party, and I feel like the same is true of
the gift of being your mom. I love
who you are, Isaac. God has given
us in you a boy who cares about other people, who is aware of others, who wants
to be compassionate, who has a wild and wonderful imagination, who longs to
obey and wants to please, who is curious, who loves his brother (and sometimes
his sister, though I will admit that she often makes that a tall task for you),
and who longs to learn and play.
As I look at pictures of you this past year, I can see that this is the
year that you became a boy. You
aren’t a baby anymore. Though you
will always be MY baby, you are growing up into a person I am so very proud to
know, to love, and to call my son.
This year you fell in love with Mother’s Day Out, telling me again and
again that school is good for you and sharing with me stories of your adventures
on the playground and in class.
You told me last spring on the way home one day, “Mama, I think I have
lots of friends!” and though I
cried for a very different reason on your first day of Mother’s Day Out, I
cried grateful tears when I picked you up last May on your last day of school
before summer. You made a t-shirt
with the hand prints of all of your classmates (6 boys total) and you told me
that you would wear it everyday until it became “too small” and even when you
couldn’t wear it you would keep it forever so that you could remember “your
boys.” This is the year we
traded in our cool, rugged x-terra for a mini-van, which holds all of us (even
the dogs!) nicely, and it is especially wonderful that you are now big enough
for a booster seat! You got one
for Christmas and you are so excited about buckling yourself in now! You took swimming lessons this year,
and after the first few days you really got the hang of it. I love watching you explore life
underwater and grow more and more confident as a swimmer. How cool that you began the summer in
floaties, and after swimming lessons you didn’t need them at all! You thrived in gymnastics this year,
becoming stronger and more confident there too. I love that you are aware of what you are good at in the
gym, and that you also know what is hard for you and where you can
improve. You tested into a
preschool program for gifted children this spring too. Your IQ is really high, which does not
surprise us, and we pray that we will have you in just the right environments
to encourage the growth of your really bright mind. Right now you go once each week to a program called Encore
(we call it Mr. Price school) where you learn all kinds of things. I’ll never forget you hopping in the
car one afternoon and saying to me, “Mom, do you know how birds
communicate? Communicate means how
they talk to each other.” This
fall you started another class at Mother’s Day Out. You have 13 kids in your class and though it’s very
different than having 5 other boys, you are thriving as a leader there
too. Everyone loves
you. I think all the girls might
want to marry you. Choose wisely! You are, indeed, a prize! You told me once that you think they
should have a contest and whoever did the” best tricks like forward rolls and
stuff” would be the one you would marry.
Your teachers chose you to be Joseph in the Christmas program. You were perfect for the part. You even had to say “I see Mary looking
at me!” as a part of the
play. I pray you will continue to
grow into a man who has Joseph’s humble heart. God has given you a lot to steward well! You also gave up your beloved “This”
this year. You worked hard to get
rid of it, but just didn’t want it to go all the way away. Starting in August you didn’t take it
to school for nap time, and shortly afterwards we all got colds at our
house. Daddy said you would have
to have your This boiled before you could suck on it and because my hands are
full at night, I told you once that you were welcome to have it but that I wasn’t
going to clean it and that it was disgusting. You said you were done, and that was that!
As a four year old, God gave you the gift of being a big
brother again. The last time you
became a big brother, you weren’t quite two yet. This time you were way more ready for it. You delight in Gabe, and he certainly
enjoys you. He watches you and now
that he is six months old, he likes to sing to you when you come near him. I get excited when I think about what
God will give the two of you as brothers. And I also delight in knowing that you and Ada were picked
for each other as well. Y’all have
adventures together more and more.
Mostly they end in someone crying, but I know that won’t be
forever. Plus, Ada cries a lot to
get her way. And you hurt her when
she frustrates you. I hope y’all
get to claim something unique relationally one day as well. You are a good brother, Isaac. You do very much love your siblings and
try to care for them.
You hold onto things tightly. You don’t like us to mess up any of your “creations.” You are already building with legos and
you love to make things out of stuff in your room. What is a treasure to you may not seem so to anyone else,
but every little thing is precious to your heart, and I love that about
you. Every so often I wish I could
get away with throwing things away, but you always seem to come behind me and
find whatever “valuable” happy I’ve put in the trash can, pulling it out and
saving it in your collections. If
it can’t be rescued, you cry hard over your loss.
You love to swing on the swing in the front yard now, you
jump on the trampoline, and of course, are the dogs’ best friend. You eat a lot right now. When asked if you want a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich or a hotdog, you sometimes say both! You are starting to try and like new
things—like crust on your sandwiches and carrots too.
Now that you are five I know I will have to let go of you in
ways that I haven’t had to before.
I dread the day you start kindergarten and you are away from our home
for 35 hours each week, and yet I know it is so good for you and that you are
so capable. I also know that you
are a blessing and that you have a lot of God’s heart to share with those you
meet out there in your school world.
Plus, you have such an eager mind, and I get excited for what this year
holds for you when I think about how you might grow. Thankfully I have until August before I have to surrender
you to school five days each week, and so I pray that I will treasure the days
that I have you at home. May they
be adventures in their own way and may they help you to know God deeper.
When I think of the last 5 years, I know God has used you to
show Himself to me beyond what I knew to ask for or imagine. Oh how I need the Lord to help me love
you well. You are a tangible
reminder to me of His favor in my life, and if my delight in you pales in
comparison to His delight in either one of us, then we are loved way beyond
measure by the king of the universe.
What good news! You teach
me about laughter. You teach me
about second chances. You teach me
about depth and about being intentional.
You teach me about joy. You
teach me about prayer. You
remind me of how great hugs are, and about how fun it is to play. You are a great gift, my boy. My son. My laughter and encouragement. Happy 5th Birthday, Isaac Barnes Shapiro. May 5 be an adventure that stirs you to
great things, and may the Lord be close every minute of every day, protecting
you, calling you by name, preparing purpose in and for you, and bringing you
comfort.
You are such a huge piece of my heart.
Love you forever,
Mommy
