houses for you and me

since we've been talking about houses in preparation for ada's party, isaac has become aware that not everyone has a house, which was our goal, in part.  he asked me how come not everyone has a house, and i told him that not everyone has enough money to buy a house, and that, in fact, people borrow money for their houses since they are so expensive.  he said he thought we should give some of our money to help someone buy a house.  i was so excited that he wanted to be generous in such a special way.  then he told me "but not my money from my piggy bank."  oh well.  we'll keep trying.  i get it.  it's hard to be generous.  i don't do it well either!

when you are 16

today when ada and i picked isaac up from school, ada insisted on climbing into her seat by way of the driver's seat.  she said to me, in all seriousness, "mommy, can i drive?"  and i said, "no, baby.  you have to be 16 to drive a car and you aren't even 2, so that means you can almost drive in 14 years."  she replied, "Ohhh.  okay."  and after a pause she said, "Can i drive now?"

I know it'll seem like tomorrow and she will be!  in the meantime, i'm glad we are only getting ready for her 2nd birthday and not her sweet 16th!

a BIG surprise!

i am so excited!  a kind of excited i don't remember feeling the first two times because i was so terrified, but a surrendered and wonderful and amazing kind of excited--so much so that it only feels fitting to write about it so that i won't forget it.  if it's within our control, this is the last time i'll experience this revelation excitement--the last time i'll ponder in the quiet of my own heart and soul the miracle of a little life within me on the very first day i get to know about the gift of his or her existence.  in this very moment, only the Father in heaven and I know about this little one.  I feel like God is letting me in on a divine and holy secret, just a small part of His plan to be revealed in some unique and creative way to this world.  i've been praying that God would give us this baby, and jeremy told me last night that he has been too, and though Jeremy does not yet know that God did, indeed, answer that prayer,  I am taking a break from the tasks of the day to praise our God from whom ALL blessings flow and to pray for this little one that He, the creator and savior of the universe, dreamed up before there was even time for the very purpose of bringing Him glory in some way. I can't believe i have the privilege of carrying this little one these next nine months, and beyond, and as much as I, honestly, don't love being pregnant, I already love this child so very much.  And so this last time, I really want to enjoy the miracle that's taking place inside of me.

I wonder if she's a girl, or if he's a boy.  I wonder how she will bless our family, in what ways he will stretch us, what she will be like, how he will interact with his siblings....  I wonder so many things, some of them practical (like where will he sleep and how in the world will we fit 3 car seats in our car?) and some of them not (like who will she be and how will he best know God?).  I wonder how his little life will change the lives of his siblings.  Isaac and Ada do so well together...finally!  They love each other.  Can they love another little one too?  Can I love another one well?  I struggle to love the precious ones I have with joy and patience.  Is there enough of me to go around, and to still invest well in our marriage?

I have no choice but to trust that God is more than enough for us as He grows our family with great purpose.  I can't wait to tell Jeremy.  I'm so, so excited about knowing this baby and raising him or her with Jeremy by my side.  I wish I could hold her or him today!  July 10th ish is our due date.  Finally, a summer baby!!

Hooray!  I am so very full this day.
i was suspicious when i noticed how strong my fingernails were on the way home from gymnastics  with Ada today.  I am so grateful!  And now...off to decide how to tell Jeremy he is a daddy again!  Thank you, Jesus, for knitting this baby together within me.  What a miracle!  Please bring this little life here safely, and may He or she be filled with your Spirit and an eager participant in your Kingdom work.

"Sing over me, draw me close to rest in your peace.  Sing over me, oh sing"

a little surprise

i've been dreaming about ada's birthday party for a while now, even though it's still a month away.  after having a few hours last june with an old friend, howie, who works full time as a missionary building homes in mexican border towns, i realized that AMOR, a ministry that is dear to my heart and primarily "builds hope" by providing poor families with safe, dry homes, is struggling financially and therefore is only able to build half as many homes this year.  That means that only 600 families will benefit from the two room structure AMOR builds so well instead of normal 1200 families.  It also means only half as many volunteers are blessed by the experience of using their hearts and hands through AMOR to help build these homes and love on these families.  It's been my experience that I gain way more than I give when I am serving in this capacity.  I knew that the First Pres. group was taking a break from serving on the border due to the dangerous drug traffic and related crime, but it had not occurred to me that other churches were also choosing other avenues in which to serve.  Fewer servant groups, in combination with low giving, has left AMOR with a long waiting list of Mexican families who pray for a home for their babies.  I can't even imagine.

We have been conscious this year about supporting AMOR, and since Ada's birthday is at Christmas time, I thought that, with housing on our hearts, a gingerbread party would be fun!  Because of that, and because of her interest at Daystar, at Nana's and at RuRu's with the dollhouses there, I decided this would be a fun year to get her a dollhouse, as a tangible reminder of God's grace in our lives and also as a prompt to teach her to "build hope," however God might call her to do that.

When I started looking for dollhouses, I was super discouraged.  They are all pretty pricey (mostly over 3 digits) and seemed less than unique, much unlike my girl.  I happened to look on craigslist Sunday night and found a cute, wooden, blue house in need of some loving that very much reminded me of the house my sister made me when I was little (only it's smaller).  It was only 25 dollars, so I inquired about it right away, and was first in a line of many to get to stop by and look at it.

I told Ms. Paula, the homeowner, that I could pick the house up Monday morning, but would have to back into her driveway and sneak it into the trunk without the kids seeing it.  We headed towards Franklin, which worked perfectly because Isaac had gymnastics in Franklin that morning anyway.  When we passed the gym, he of course freaked out that I was going the wrong way.  I told him that I had a surprise to pick up.  He and Ada both got really excited and immediately started trying to guess what it might be.  Isaac said, "It must be a pumpkin!"  I decided to let him know that it wasn't actually a pumpkin, so he said, "I know!  Maybe it's a cow!  No, that's too big."  So Ada said, "Then it's a horse."  Isaac said, "No, Ada.  It's a rooster."  And so finally they settled on a new puppy.

I'm excited about giving this "new puppy" a new life.  I think it needs a good coat of pink paint on the outside and some sweet little touches on the inside.  I can't wait to work on it, and to give it to Ada for her second birthday.  Hopefully she and Isaac will spend a lot of creative hours enjoying it together, and in the end, will be reminded that everything we have is a gift from God.  I hope they will learn to give generously in response to his extravagant love.