ryan and amanda's wedding

We had a big weekend in Chattanooga celebrating our friends Ryan and Amanda as they stepped into the mystery of marriage together.  Ryan used to work with me, and in fact, stepped into my job at the church doing junior high youth ministry for a while, and Amanda is the love of his life, who we also enjoy.  Ryan is so intentional in everything he does and most especially in the ways he loves others and the Lord, and beautiful Amanda will always be the first girl Isaac has ever noticed.  He adored her from the second he met her, and in fact, agreed to be the ring bearer in their wedding, which makes us all laugh because he so clearly does not understand that in so doing he helped celebrate the giving his girl away forever.  Isaac was excited about his duty as a ring bearer.  He loved the suit Amanda's mom sent him to wear--he said he felt handsome in it!  He also really likes the "Pom Poms" he got to wear with all of the other groomsmen who also had black Toms on their feet.  And, he of course, enjoyed Jenna Brooke, who was "my flower girl."  he kept saying, "where's my flower girl?"  when it was time to walk down the aisle, i heard isaac say to Jenna from the back of the church, "well, are you coming?" and then when Jenna bolted into a pew half way down the aisle, he stopped and looked at her before continuing down himself, swinging his pillow the whole way, intent on the sucker he would receive as a prize at the end of his shift.  Afterwards we went to the reception with the wedding party.  Isaac was so excited about riding on top of a double decker bus through downtown Chattanooga.  He couldn't believe it was okay to ride without a car seat!  Though the cake was his biggest highlight at the reception, Ada was bound and determined to spend her time on the dance floor.  After every song she would say "one more time!"  Watching her be so free to enjoy herself and her little body was SO freeing and wonderful for me.  What a sweet gift.

The wedding itself was really beautiful.  I love how quickly weddings remind me of my own vows to Jeremy--of the gravity and power of them, but also of the unique wonder of them.  I love sitting beside him and hearing a pastor's (in this case Mark!) challenge to become an expert on loving your spouse.  I'm amazed that 6 years into that journey I still have so much to learn, and i'm so grateful that it is my joy and my duty to do so.  God gave me in Jeremy a partner that I didn't even know how to ask for.  And I am grateful to be doing our lives fully together.

We love a lot of the same people that Ryan and Amanda love, and had such a fun time with our friends before, during and after the wedding itself.  Yesterday we went to the aquarium and Jeff and Kelleigh gave Isaac and Ada each a stuffed animal.  Isaac got a 10 foot red snake named "Froggy the Penguin" and Ada got a penguin she's been calling Birdie.  I think they both might be really special and integral parst of some child hood memories.  Maybe even beyond!

Congratulations to Ryan and Amanda!  And thank you, Lord, for marriage!

Call me.

we were driving home from nana's tonight and isaac asked me, "when are you going to die, mommy?"  I told him i didn't know but that i hoped it wouldn't be until i was old.  i want to see him get to be a daddy one day.  then he said, "will you take your phone with you when you die.  i'd like to be able to call you."

NaCoMe

NaCoMe is one of my favorite places on the planet.  How strange it is for me to try to explain how wonderful it is, and such is probably the case for anyone who has beloved childhood memories at a church camp.  My family started going to NaCoMe, which is a little piece of heaven tucked into the middle tennessee valley and is shared by many, mostly in the NAshville, COlumbia, and MEmphis areas, in 1984 when I was five years old.  Though I was almost eaten by the swamp in our first five minutes there (never have I been accidentally so muddy), our family fell in love with our NaCoMe family camp experiences there and went twice each year until Dusty and I were in college.  There is something so sweet about the ways we were loved there by our church family as we grew up--something so rare about the freedom NaCoMe always offered me to play, to dance, to get to know other people, to be known, and to explore.  God has truly used the investment He made in me during all of those family camps in some sweet ways--I feel like He used them to help create in me a heart for youth ministry, and for that I will always be grateful.

The first weekend of this month Jeremy and I had a rare chance to get to do something I never thought I'd ever do.  We were asked to be the speakers at the First Presbyterian Church NaCoMe family camp.  We were honored by the invitation, and because we prayed before we had children that maybe one day God would give us some chances to do ministry together, we were excited enough about the offer to accept it.  We were also scared out of our minds, mostly because the tall, tall task of creating a program that would engage all ages seemed to grand for us--we certainly aren't representative of the caliber of speaker that FPC usually pursues for the weekend's nurturing.

We worked really hard for months to create something that felt like a fit for the weekend.  God gave us an idea through Isaac and Ada's children's bible through a sentence that says "God created everything in his world to reflect him like a mirror--to show us what he is like, to help us know him, and to make our hearts sing."  We divided our time up into three sessions, and ended up learning a lot from it.  It felt very life-giving to lead the families at family camp.  We loved leading them in recreation, worship, and even speaking wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.  It was awesome to get to do this with Jeremy.  We have a far-fetched dream that maybe one day we could have a camp or lead camp sessions of some sort.  If this was a taste of what it would be like, I'm in!

I chipped my front tooth while we were eating lunch on Saturday.  I bit down really hard on a broken fork and it took part of my tooth out.  In a panic, I showed Jeremy, and said, "my teeth are all i've got!"  clearly the session we led on being made in the image of God is a struggle for me to really understand and believe.  It was good for me to be reminded that I was speaking to myself all weekend.  (on a side note, so was ada.  we all slept in the same room and discovered that she says "no mommy!" in her sleep! and i hear it in mine!)

It was a real treat for me to watch our little ones enjoy the place i grew up enjoying.  RuRu came with us and babysat while we were busy leading.  The kids had a blast.  Ada even won a silly award for getting in the creek in the first five minutes we were there (and for getting in it so many times during the weekend that we ran out of clothes for her).  I am pretty sure RuRu never thought to dream that she might be playing in that creek with her grandbabies.  God proves faithful from generation to generation.

"The heavens are singing about how great God is; and the skies are shouting it out, "See what God has made!"  Day after day...Night after night...They are speaking to us."  Psalm 19: 1-2 (paraphrase)

Isaac loved climbing up the climbing wall this time!  He has gotten so big!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Isaac his very first trip to NaCoMe.  He was 19 months old and loved collecting rocks to put in his fishing net.  He drug them everywhere.

And then he threw them in the creek with his daddy.  He still shakes him arms like that when he gets excited.  love, love.

preschool musical

we've been on the crazy journey of trying to find a preschool for isaac.  i've been really resistant about sending him somewhere, mostly because I quit my dream job to stay home with the kids so it only makes sense that they should stay at home with me.  that's been our story for the past 20 very hard, very beautiful months, and now that isaac is 3 and a half, we think it would be good for him to be in preschool at least one day each week so that he can practice being with other kids in a classroom and can learn some of the skills he'll need for school.  we've been to several schools, but ended up choosing one that we had not visited, based on the good things we've heard about the program from several families we trust and also because it's affordable.  I like, too, that they only have Wednesdays available right now.  It's a lot easier for me to gear up for preschool when I remember that it's just one 5 hour day each week (instead of 2 five and a half hour days or 3 three hour days).  A five hour day is still pretty long, I think.  Obviously I'm a wreck about preschool.

Isaac has also been resistant to the idea of preschool.  I'm sure that's partially because he feels my stress over it, but I think it's also because of his personality, which is one of the reasons we think this experience will really bless him.  Today we went to pick up some forms and to see his room.  When we pulled into the parking lot, he said, "Mommy, i think i'm a little bit scared."  I was thinking, "me too buddy.  Let's get out of here."  but instead, I told him we should pray.  We did, and he said he felt better.  When we walked into the building, the women who worked there were very kind to us, and after a short tour, Isaac heard me ask the director if he could bring a blanket from home for nap time.  She told me that he could.  Then Isaac said, "ask about my this."  So i picked him up and said, "can you ask Miss Diane your question?"  he said, "can i bring my this to school?"  She looked confused, of course, and so I told her what his this was.  After hearing the story, she told him about her bear cubby that she sleeps with and assured him that sleeping at nap time with his this would be okay.  All of a sudden preschool felt like a great idea to Isaac.  He has been so excited about it all day, and has said multiple times, "my this can go to school with me!"

tonight when we prayed, he asked god to help gracie and gretta not be scared to sleep in their room.  and then he asked god to help his blanks be "cited" about going to school.  his plan is to take them on a rotational basis, with dog blank going first because he's isaac's favorite.

i ordered isaac a red monogrammed backpack today while my big little guy took a nap.

"god, i think I'M a little bit scared.
please help us make choices on behalf of our children that reflect your best for them.
please help me be "cited" about this new transition for isaac.
may preschool be so wonderful that he grows hungry for more of it.
thank you for these years that we get to spend at home together.
may we make the most of them."
love,
erika

backwards. forwards.

we laugh a lot about the fact that when i leave the house in the morning to go to the Y, hoping to come home to find the kids dressed in the clothes i've picked out for them to wear for the day, i almost always come home to them in less clothing than when i left.  getting dressed is a game when jeremy is in charge, and the kids always have fun being chased around with random clothing items flying everywhere.  it annoys me, but since i am only rarely here to witness it, i just expect to arrive to some version of preschool frat party aftermath.  today when i got home, i was shocked to find that the kids were dressed and even had their shoes on!  i think their jammies are even in the dirty clothes basket.  excepting one detail, all was very impressive.  the detail:  ada's shirt was on backwards.  it cracks me up that jeremy always puts buttons in the front no matter what.  in his defense, it's how all of his shirts work.  but in the defense of our children, his obsession with button-fronts does not make any room for clues offered by tags, smocking, collars, etc.  and they usually do look rather funny with their clothes on backwards.

one of isaac's first sundays at the church nursery was mother's day 2008.  as was typical while i was working at church, i went early on sundays and jeremy brought isaac much later.  this particular sunday he brought him in one of the sweet smocked jumpers that someone had given us when isaac was born.  it was so funny to me that jeremy put it on backwards, sailboats in the rear, buttons in the front, that i think we left him like that most of the day.

now isaac puts his crocs on backwards all of the time.  it bothers other people, i think, but i am just glad he wants to put his shoes on by himself.  recently he's started asking, "is this backwards or forwards?"  it must be true that he'll learn when he's ready.

we have a backwards life otherwise too.  jeremy is home in the mornings and not in the evenings.  we have way more than we need or deserve.  we live in a neighborhood that we shouldn't live in because nana and papa t bought half of our house.  ultimately we are justified in christ, who died for our sin so that we might have life.  it's backwards too.

i'm thankful for the backwards.  it moves us forward.

He Said. She said.

Ada and Isaac say the most hilarious things.  Some of them I take for granted, for sure, and though I laugh in the moment, my nutty brain loses them after the present joy of the delight they bring.  Older moms always tell me to write stuff down and to take lots of pictures.  I know they offer me that instruction with the great intent of helping me to look back on these young years without the regret of undocumented childhoods.  I feel like I'm doing the best I can, and for the most part, "the best I can" does not include the preservation of the notes, pictures, and stories of our days like I wish it did.  For that reason, I want to write down some of the things that have escaped the mouths of my babes that have made me laugh recently.

I should preface them by saying that one of my favorite things about how kids speak is that they are so literal.  If I sit for a few minutes in what I hear from them, I delight in how hilarious it is that they say what they know to be true in ways that are not wrong and at the same time, are so not right.  Here are some highlights.

We looked at a preschool yesterday and a woman we met there asked Isaac how old he was.  He said he was 3.  She asked him when he would be 4.  He told her "after I'm 3, I think."

Ada loves cheese.  We give her cheese wheels and string cheese a lot.  She wandered into our bathroom and found a box of tampons.  Upon her discovery, she squealed with delight, "CHEESE!"  Oh so sad that she was mistaken!

Isaac loves to play "store" at the park.  He asks me what I need and I tell him.  He runs to pick up ground up tires from under the swings and brings them back to me in exchange for a twig or something as payment.  I told him i needed some poppy seed bread.  He told me he only had old poppy seed bread. I told him i didn't want to buy old poppy seed bread.  He told me he'd go check to see if i could find some that wasn't old.  When he returned, he said he had "old, new, and delicate."  I told him i had never heard of delicate poppy seed bread but that I'd like to try it.  Later I remembered that he had freaked out that very week about Ada breaking a piece of poppy seed bread that he was eating.  I tell him a lot, "That's breakable.  It's delicate."  Delicate poppy seed bread is my currently favorite thing to buy at his store.

Ada asks me to rock her at night after we read a few books.  I like to sing "Jesus Loves Me" to her while I rock.  She doesn't like for me to sing "Jesus Loves Me" to her or anything else for that matter.  She always tells me, "No song" as we start to rock.

The other day Isaac was taking a break for hitting his sister.  I was frustrated with him for (A) not knowing why he was in break, and (B) not being at all sad that she was hurting.  As Ada cried in the background, I told Isaac that it should break his heart that she was in pain.  Later that day as he was taking a break a second time for some sort of abusive action toward his sister, I asked him how he should feel.  He told me "my neck is breaking.  i am breaking my neck."

Ada is repeating most everything we say now, and she also says things on her own.  It's awesome.  One thing that she repeats after us is "Trader Joe's."  I hope we'll always remember how she says it.  It's so very, very cute.  I also like that she says "Hot dog" whenever we open the refrigerator or the microwave.    She can't get enough hot dogs.  Weird.  Though she knows lots of words, she also does her fair share of babbling.  I have NO idea what she's saying a lot of the time, but it's fun to listen to her make sounds.

Isaac likes to dance around and sing.  He goes through stages of favorite "hits."  These are some of the songs that make his cut:  Danger Zone from the Top Gun soundtrack.  Life is a Highway by Papa T (actually, Rascal Flatts sings it but because Rascal Flatts recently cut one of Papa T's songs, Isaac thinks Papa T sings Life is a Highway from Cars the Movie).  Walk Right in, Sit Right down (or at least that's what we call it) from the Forrest Gump soundtrack.  Dancing to it requires lots of sitting and standing.  It's a recent favorite.  Just this week he heard "Yellow Submarine" by the Beatles and feel in love.  He even hits his arms on his legs with some sort of natural rhythm that matches that of the song.  He sings it over and over again like he's in a trance.  It's pretty funny.  He also likes to make up his own songs.  Often he sings "Buoy Wonder, Buoy Buoy Wonder" to the tune of I don't know what.  He made it up.  Also, Ada loves to play in the water, toilet water included.  When Isaac catches her doing it, he runs around singing "Ada's playing in the potty, Ada's playing in the potty."  I guess the song is more of a chant and possibly a cheer.  He loves it so much.  He gets so excited that even does a special dance while he sings.  The cutest part of it is how he jerks his elbow up to his ear while he dances around.  He is such a white boy.  Unfortunately, Ada is known to copy his moves.

The dog next door is named Hunny, not to be confused with Butch, her daddy, who has a hilarious mole catching habit.  Ada is obsessed with Hunny.  She looks for her from the Squirrel Room window, calls for her sometimes when we're up in the night, and peers over the fence when we are out on the deck in hopes of catching a glimpse of the prized pet next door.  Mostly Hunny isn't home, even though Butch is.  She goes to work with Stephen in his white pick up truck.  Ada freaks out everytime we see a white truck.  She says, "Hunny!  Hunny!  Truck!  Hunny!"  When we ask Ada where Hunny lives, she says "truck."

We were able to go to Memphis for Easter.  We went straight to Bammaw's assisted living apartments when we got to town because they were having an Easter egg hunt for the residents' families.  Though most kids found 64 or so eggs, Ada was really content with her 3 and Isaac with his handful.  Once they found out there was candy inside, there was a lot of happy happening for both of them.  The "Easter Bunny" showed up after the hunt.  As is typical of the personalities of our children, Ada chased the bunny around in circles and down the hall with great delight screaming "Bunny.  Bunny!  Hi Bunny!"  She gave him high-fives and pretty much stalked him during the gathering.  Isaac, on the other hand, literally got as low as he could to the floor under an older man's wheel chair.  He screamed too.  "Bunny!  Bunny!  Everyone hide!  There's a bunny!"

Later, at Ruru and Pop's house we had another egg hunt.  Ruru and Pops make each egg worth $1.  Gracie told her mom (who Isaac and Ada call Aunt Name) that she wanted a new Vera Bradley bag (speaking of he said, she said, RuRu said it was a Vera Wang bag!) and Name said she'd have to save her money up to buy it.  When RuRu told Isaac that Gracie was going to be hunting fast, Isaac said, "That's okay  I'll watch Pops hide the eggs."  In reality I think he may have even helped Pops hide the eggs.  Thankfully it didn't skew the outcome any.

Easily our favorite easter "he said" is Isaac shouting "Alive!" whenever we say, "Jesus is ______."  Last year when we would say "Christ is risen," he would say "Christ is deed."  He is so funny.  and wonderful.

We have a "This" addiction at our house.  A "This" is a pacifier.  When Isaac was a baby, we hold his pacifier out to him and would ask him "do you want this?"  Thus the name.  Not only is he addicted to his "this" Ada is also addicted to hers.  It's obsessive really.  Out of control.  Though Isaac is awesome about only needing his to sleep now (only because of fear.  he knows we'll throw it away if we see him with it out of bed), Ada begs for hers all day long.  We have let her have it recently because she's been teething so badly, and she likes to chew on it.  We talk about getting rid of Isaac's but haven't done it yet.  One of our favorite families just had a visit from the "Paci Fairy" to take their daughter's pacifier in exchange for some big girl toys.  When I introduced the idea of the "This Fairy" to Isaac, he went nutty.  "She can't come here, can she?  Check the windows!  Lock the doors!"  When he freaked out, I backed up and made sure he knows she only comes if we invite her.  I was sorry I mentioned it.  I was even more sorry the next morning when we hopped out of the car in the church parking lot for a meeting, Ada sucking hard on her "This" of course, and a random woman in the parking lot told us that the "Pacifier Fairy is going to want that."  Isaac looked at me horrified.  Since then, he's taken his own "This Fairy" nightmare and turned it into a game.  He chases Ada around in circles saying, "I am the This Fairy.  Give me that This!"  and she runs and squeals, and only cries if the mean "This Fairy" succeeds on his mission.
  
I love them.  And I love all of the little funnies that come out of their mouths.

"60."

most of the people in our lives who are having birthdays this year and last are/were turning 60.
today is my birthday.
jeremy asked isaac how old i was going to be on my birthday.
isaac said very confidently, "60! we get cake!"
i reminded him quickly that i'm not turning 60.
in fact, all of a sudden, 32 sounds really wonderful.

last night as i tucked isaac into bed he said, "mommy, are you going to get old tonight?"
i assured him that i would just try to sleep like all the other nights of my life.
when he came into my room this morning, he didn't make his normal announcement, which is "ding, ding! the sun's out!!"
instead he came up to my side of the bed and said very cautiously, "did you get old?"
he was shocked that i look today like i looked yesterday.

i had a great birthday.
we had breakfast together.  never happens.
the kids and jeremy went to grab cupcakes and balloons while i was at my bible study.
balloons and cupcakes make me happy. so does my bible study.
i got to shop at the oak hill consignment sale (bj got me in early, and i came home with a new summer wardrobe for isaac.  bj bought it for me as a surprise while i wasn't looking.  so generous.  so hard to receive!  so undeserving.  so exciting!)
i barely even looked at girls' clothing, which demonstrates an amazing amount of self control.
wish i had some of that around the cupcakes.
i had a picnic lunch with jeremy on our front lawn while the kids napped.
yummy turkey sandwiches.  such a staple at our house.
i folded clothes with gracie, who cleaned our house today and acted like it was no big thing.
it's always a big thing.  our house is very "lived in" (which is what gentle, southern women call "a disaster.")
the kids and i went for a walk.
we ended up at the creek by our house to throw rocks.
then we ended up in the creek by our house to chase ada.
then we were all wet and so we went for a little creek walk.
i loved it.
my jeans were soaked to my knees and my ada was soaked to her head.
isaac faired better than both of us.
we went to the park for a picnic with dusty and claire and ellie.
also loved it.  it's so fun to watch our kids play together.
the slides were a hit.

tonight as i was giving isaac and ada a bath, isaac said in a very sad, disappointed voice, "well, you didn't get old today.  i think it's because you have a cold."
i don't have a cold.
he was also very sad that no people were coming over.
he said several times "why are your friends not coming?"
according to him, i failed at having a birthday.
but i loved my day today.
now if only my hubby would come home.