"because that's how god made it"

today we were driving home from preschool, and ada starting talking about how she doesn't like to sleep when the sun is out or when the moon is out.  isaac tried to tell her that we take a nap when the sun is out and we go to sleep when the moon is out.  she asked him why.  and he said, "because that's how God made it, ada."

"take me see dr. nancy!"

My dear, dear friend, otherwise known as my large, white laptop, took a turn for the worst last week and pretty much stopped working.  Though I am sad to see it go, I am thrilled about the gift of a new computer.  When we walked up to the Apple Store last Friday afternoon, both Jeremy and I were taken by surprise at the huge line of people (the kind of line that requires special ropes and free beverages to keep everyone safe, organized, and caffeinated).  Of course we had picked the day that the new I-phone was coming out to attempt to buy a new computer.  Based on the amount of chaos in that store, I think everyone in town has a new iPhone except for us.  Thankfully, though, i do have a new computer!

As Kyle called us back to be helped, we followed.  Ada didn't.  She took off the opposite direction, heading into the crowd of strangers, and so i quickly reached my arm out and grabbed her little wrist, pulling her towards me.  She immediately started crying in pain, and kept telling us her arm hurt in between sobs.  I've never known Ada to cry for so long, which worried me to pieces, and complicated my feelings of guilt in having injured my little one in an effort to protect her from getting lost in the crowd.  She even started saying, "Take me see Dr. Nancy!"  Since that wasn't possible, we went to Walgreens and bought her a "bracelet" to help keep her wrist still.  She wore it with pride all weekend, and it wasn't until Sunday that she complained of pain again.  Our friend from church looked at it Sunday evening, and told us to ice it and give her some tylenol.  Thankfully she's doing great now, and even had fun at gymnastics this week. I've thought many times these last few days about how awful it is to have hurt my daughter.  I was trying to help her, and in the end caused her pain.  Forgive me, Ada, for I know it's not the last time I'll accidentally hurt you.  And though I"ll never hurt you on purpose, know that I hope God will convert your pain to his glory.

That little girl is so playful and spunky.  What a delight it is to watch her grow.

"i didn't do it!"

We would love for our children to grow into compassionate people who care deeply for others.  So far, they mostly care about themselves, and therefore whenever one of them hurts the other, one of the first things we ask them is if they checked on their sibling.  Yesterday Isaac and Ada were playing on the couch cushions in the living room while I was loading the dishwasher.  When Ada started crying, Isaac ran into the kitchen to say, "Ada's hurt but I didn't do it!"  I asked him if he had checked on her, and he said, "but mommy, i didn't do it!"  

I think we've somehow communicated to our little buddy that if he hurts someone, he should at least check to see if his victim is okay afterwards.  So we talked briefly about caring about people when they are crying or hurting no matter how they became sad.  

Last night I had a meeting at a church in Franklin, and our friend Ann Marie came over with her daughter, Ayden, also 3, to babysit.  Ayden fell backwards out of her chair at the dinner table, and Ann Marie told me that both Isaac and Ada came over to her right away to check to see if she was okay.

I love those little ones.

ryan and amanda's wedding

We had a big weekend in Chattanooga celebrating our friends Ryan and Amanda as they stepped into the mystery of marriage together.  Ryan used to work with me, and in fact, stepped into my job at the church doing junior high youth ministry for a while, and Amanda is the love of his life, who we also enjoy.  Ryan is so intentional in everything he does and most especially in the ways he loves others and the Lord, and beautiful Amanda will always be the first girl Isaac has ever noticed.  He adored her from the second he met her, and in fact, agreed to be the ring bearer in their wedding, which makes us all laugh because he so clearly does not understand that in so doing he helped celebrate the giving his girl away forever.  Isaac was excited about his duty as a ring bearer.  He loved the suit Amanda's mom sent him to wear--he said he felt handsome in it!  He also really likes the "Pom Poms" he got to wear with all of the other groomsmen who also had black Toms on their feet.  And, he of course, enjoyed Jenna Brooke, who was "my flower girl."  he kept saying, "where's my flower girl?"  when it was time to walk down the aisle, i heard isaac say to Jenna from the back of the church, "well, are you coming?" and then when Jenna bolted into a pew half way down the aisle, he stopped and looked at her before continuing down himself, swinging his pillow the whole way, intent on the sucker he would receive as a prize at the end of his shift.  Afterwards we went to the reception with the wedding party.  Isaac was so excited about riding on top of a double decker bus through downtown Chattanooga.  He couldn't believe it was okay to ride without a car seat!  Though the cake was his biggest highlight at the reception, Ada was bound and determined to spend her time on the dance floor.  After every song she would say "one more time!"  Watching her be so free to enjoy herself and her little body was SO freeing and wonderful for me.  What a sweet gift.

The wedding itself was really beautiful.  I love how quickly weddings remind me of my own vows to Jeremy--of the gravity and power of them, but also of the unique wonder of them.  I love sitting beside him and hearing a pastor's (in this case Mark!) challenge to become an expert on loving your spouse.  I'm amazed that 6 years into that journey I still have so much to learn, and i'm so grateful that it is my joy and my duty to do so.  God gave me in Jeremy a partner that I didn't even know how to ask for.  And I am grateful to be doing our lives fully together.

We love a lot of the same people that Ryan and Amanda love, and had such a fun time with our friends before, during and after the wedding itself.  Yesterday we went to the aquarium and Jeff and Kelleigh gave Isaac and Ada each a stuffed animal.  Isaac got a 10 foot red snake named "Froggy the Penguin" and Ada got a penguin she's been calling Birdie.  I think they both might be really special and integral parst of some child hood memories.  Maybe even beyond!

Congratulations to Ryan and Amanda!  And thank you, Lord, for marriage!

Call me.

we were driving home from nana's tonight and isaac asked me, "when are you going to die, mommy?"  I told him i didn't know but that i hoped it wouldn't be until i was old.  i want to see him get to be a daddy one day.  then he said, "will you take your phone with you when you die.  i'd like to be able to call you."

NaCoMe

NaCoMe is one of my favorite places on the planet.  How strange it is for me to try to explain how wonderful it is, and such is probably the case for anyone who has beloved childhood memories at a church camp.  My family started going to NaCoMe, which is a little piece of heaven tucked into the middle tennessee valley and is shared by many, mostly in the NAshville, COlumbia, and MEmphis areas, in 1984 when I was five years old.  Though I was almost eaten by the swamp in our first five minutes there (never have I been accidentally so muddy), our family fell in love with our NaCoMe family camp experiences there and went twice each year until Dusty and I were in college.  There is something so sweet about the ways we were loved there by our church family as we grew up--something so rare about the freedom NaCoMe always offered me to play, to dance, to get to know other people, to be known, and to explore.  God has truly used the investment He made in me during all of those family camps in some sweet ways--I feel like He used them to help create in me a heart for youth ministry, and for that I will always be grateful.

The first weekend of this month Jeremy and I had a rare chance to get to do something I never thought I'd ever do.  We were asked to be the speakers at the First Presbyterian Church NaCoMe family camp.  We were honored by the invitation, and because we prayed before we had children that maybe one day God would give us some chances to do ministry together, we were excited enough about the offer to accept it.  We were also scared out of our minds, mostly because the tall, tall task of creating a program that would engage all ages seemed to grand for us--we certainly aren't representative of the caliber of speaker that FPC usually pursues for the weekend's nurturing.

We worked really hard for months to create something that felt like a fit for the weekend.  God gave us an idea through Isaac and Ada's children's bible through a sentence that says "God created everything in his world to reflect him like a mirror--to show us what he is like, to help us know him, and to make our hearts sing."  We divided our time up into three sessions, and ended up learning a lot from it.  It felt very life-giving to lead the families at family camp.  We loved leading them in recreation, worship, and even speaking wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.  It was awesome to get to do this with Jeremy.  We have a far-fetched dream that maybe one day we could have a camp or lead camp sessions of some sort.  If this was a taste of what it would be like, I'm in!

I chipped my front tooth while we were eating lunch on Saturday.  I bit down really hard on a broken fork and it took part of my tooth out.  In a panic, I showed Jeremy, and said, "my teeth are all i've got!"  clearly the session we led on being made in the image of God is a struggle for me to really understand and believe.  It was good for me to be reminded that I was speaking to myself all weekend.  (on a side note, so was ada.  we all slept in the same room and discovered that she says "no mommy!" in her sleep! and i hear it in mine!)

It was a real treat for me to watch our little ones enjoy the place i grew up enjoying.  RuRu came with us and babysat while we were busy leading.  The kids had a blast.  Ada even won a silly award for getting in the creek in the first five minutes we were there (and for getting in it so many times during the weekend that we ran out of clothes for her).  I am pretty sure RuRu never thought to dream that she might be playing in that creek with her grandbabies.  God proves faithful from generation to generation.

"The heavens are singing about how great God is; and the skies are shouting it out, "See what God has made!"  Day after day...Night after night...They are speaking to us."  Psalm 19: 1-2 (paraphrase)

Isaac loved climbing up the climbing wall this time!  He has gotten so big!

This is one of my favorite pictures of Isaac his very first trip to NaCoMe.  He was 19 months old and loved collecting rocks to put in his fishing net.  He drug them everywhere.

And then he threw them in the creek with his daddy.  He still shakes him arms like that when he gets excited.  love, love.

preschool musical

we've been on the crazy journey of trying to find a preschool for isaac.  i've been really resistant about sending him somewhere, mostly because I quit my dream job to stay home with the kids so it only makes sense that they should stay at home with me.  that's been our story for the past 20 very hard, very beautiful months, and now that isaac is 3 and a half, we think it would be good for him to be in preschool at least one day each week so that he can practice being with other kids in a classroom and can learn some of the skills he'll need for school.  we've been to several schools, but ended up choosing one that we had not visited, based on the good things we've heard about the program from several families we trust and also because it's affordable.  I like, too, that they only have Wednesdays available right now.  It's a lot easier for me to gear up for preschool when I remember that it's just one 5 hour day each week (instead of 2 five and a half hour days or 3 three hour days).  A five hour day is still pretty long, I think.  Obviously I'm a wreck about preschool.

Isaac has also been resistant to the idea of preschool.  I'm sure that's partially because he feels my stress over it, but I think it's also because of his personality, which is one of the reasons we think this experience will really bless him.  Today we went to pick up some forms and to see his room.  When we pulled into the parking lot, he said, "Mommy, i think i'm a little bit scared."  I was thinking, "me too buddy.  Let's get out of here."  but instead, I told him we should pray.  We did, and he said he felt better.  When we walked into the building, the women who worked there were very kind to us, and after a short tour, Isaac heard me ask the director if he could bring a blanket from home for nap time.  She told me that he could.  Then Isaac said, "ask about my this."  So i picked him up and said, "can you ask Miss Diane your question?"  he said, "can i bring my this to school?"  She looked confused, of course, and so I told her what his this was.  After hearing the story, she told him about her bear cubby that she sleeps with and assured him that sleeping at nap time with his this would be okay.  All of a sudden preschool felt like a great idea to Isaac.  He has been so excited about it all day, and has said multiple times, "my this can go to school with me!"

tonight when we prayed, he asked god to help gracie and gretta not be scared to sleep in their room.  and then he asked god to help his blanks be "cited" about going to school.  his plan is to take them on a rotational basis, with dog blank going first because he's isaac's favorite.

i ordered isaac a red monogrammed backpack today while my big little guy took a nap.

"god, i think I'M a little bit scared.
please help us make choices on behalf of our children that reflect your best for them.
please help me be "cited" about this new transition for isaac.
may preschool be so wonderful that he grows hungry for more of it.
thank you for these years that we get to spend at home together.
may we make the most of them."
love,
erika